I wrote this post a few days ago and then proceeded to have a week of migraines and neck issues because of the construction going on outside our house.  These were some sneak peaks of our weeding decorations.  The wedding took me a year and a half to plan and came together organically.  A lot of the decorations were things that I saw and thought, this might look cool with this... and it was just a mixture of things I loved that also had subtle meanings for me and my husband. I'll post more about everything later... but for now here's a sneak peek of our magical day. :)

I’m posting this at 1am because I spent most of the day doing chores around the house. Our spare bedroom is currently being used as my husband's WFH office and we recently found out that my brother needed to move out of his dorm room.

Yesterday (Saturday) was spent clearing out our walk-in closet in the guest bedroom to make it more user friendly and provide space for all of my brother's things and today was spent actually doing laundry and moving him in.

While my husband went to pick up my brother and most of his belongings (unfortunately, a second trip is in order cause it didn’t all fit in the car) I spent time finishing the organization of the second bedroom while the laundry was spinning and tumbling. During my cleaning, I happened across some old binders that housed all my screenplays from film school as well as all the work I did for my costume and set design class.

I couldn’t find the actual assignment sheet that went with these particular sketches, but I suspect it had something to do with a scene our teacher provided us with and we had to come up with potential costumes for the characters.

The thing I loved about these sketches is the simplicity in just conveying what the character wore. It wasn’t as intricate as designing clothes would be, but it was more about conveying the attitude and the style of the person.

So when I used to work in retail, part of my job was to teach people how to use an iPad.  During slow days I would connect an iPad to an Apple TV and just spend my time drawing on the screen to catch people's attention.  A lot of the time, people would come up to me and tell me that they have no talent and have no idea how to draw.  

This dog is a piece I made by tracing a photo of a real dog and adding my own spin to it as a way to show people that everyone can draw or trace something to learn how to draw. The coolest thing about the app I was using was the ability for it to create a video of what my process was and export it.  

​I have a ton of these drawings that I'll be posting because some of them came out really cool.  I even had weeks when I had a theme as to what I was drawing so I will have a few more cute pups to share.  

Hopefully this guy will put a smile on your face on this quarantined Saturday. 

I wrote this poem in 2014 after I'd lost both a family member and a good friend I had lost touch with within the span of about a week.  Both of them were in their 20's and still had long lives ahead of them, but they were cut short due to cancer and a car related accident.
 
With everything going on in the world right now with the Covid-19 virus and needing to Shelter in Place, I feel it's appropriate to think about what can happen if people continue to live their lives like normal and not practice Social Distancing right now.

I just read a news article about a family in New Jersey that has lost 4 family members over the course of days and they all have to mourn separately from different houses under quarantine.  It's terrible and devastating that all of this is happening and people are unaware they are carriers of the virus until it is too late. 

All we have to do right now is just stay home and keep our distance from others to help flatten the curve so that less people die from this illness.  I am heartbroken for the people who have lost loved ones.  I am empathetic for the people who are terrified of catching it.  I am devastated that people are not understanding what's happening and still believe it to be something that will go away in a few days.

I think the reason I'm feeling more somber today is that one of the latest papers by researchers of the virus states that "People with blood group A have a significantly higher risk for acquiring COVID-19 compared with non-A blood groups."  Me and my over achieving blood are A+ so the non-rational part of me is currently having a panic attack and the rational part of me is saying "You are home and mostly alone so you should be safe."  I know that having an A blood type does not guarantee that I will catch it or even have it right now, but I still worry. 

I worry about my elderly neighbor next door who won't open the door for anyone so that she stays protected from what's going on.  I worry about old customers I used to teach everyday who became like honorary grandparents and offered me a place to stay when things got hard for me at home.  I worry about friends and former co-workers who have become my family and who have loved ones working in hospitals.  I worry about my father-in-law in Florida who has health issues and has smoked for most of his life but still insists on going to work for some reason.  I worry about my own father who has his own health issues but also had a pacemaker installed and lives all alone 5 hours away.  I worry about my mother and sister who live over seas in a country that is under "enhanced" community quarantine, but has a history of martial law. I'm worried about all these people and how, without knowing it, I could be a carrier and could cause any of them to get sick just by being with them.  

That's the scariest part about this whole thing.  Not knowing if you have it and could pass it on to the people you love the most.  

If you got this far, I applaud you and appreciate you reading through my word vomit of a rant.  I've never been the type of person who faked an "I'm fine" response when asked if I was okay.  

Life is tough.  Life is hard.  Life can be scary, but there is strength in being vulnerable.  There is strength in looking at what you are scared of and facing it head on.  You can't let fear rule your life.  You can ask for help.  You can share your feelings and thoughts.  It might be the only way to get through it all.  

I hope that you all stay safe out there and that you find ways to find comfort and security during these uncertain times. Please stay home if you are able to.  Please wash your hands and think about the people that you could possibly loose if this virus doesn't get contained soon.  Please take a moment and just be aware of the people around you.  Most people spend all day thinking of themselves and what they can do to make themselves happy.  I know its super cliche, but "No man is an island."  We are all in this together. 💜

I'm making my blog posts in kinda chronological order.  I say kinda because I don't really have dates as to when I first created everything. I do have pictures in my photo library but I also lost part of my library a few years ago and suffered some data corruption on my drive so I don't necessarily trust the dates listed for everything.  

What I do know is that the painting above was the first painting I did as an adult.  I went to Michaels Art Supply and bought all the supplies necessary to do my first piece of art.  I got canvas board, acrylic paint, brushes, rulers, a mini easel that fit on top of the mini TV stand I had in my room and got to work. 🎨

I think the thing that took the most time with this piece of work was drawing the boxes for the checkerboard background.  I kept having to re-measure and re-do them to get them to be the size I liked.  

I actually had a whole series of paintings planned and did start a few, but they all came out crappy so this is the only painting I have left.

The thing I was most proud of was the single page that is floating in the air.  Having a painting that is so structured and so measured and having a single page wafting in the breeze gave it character and movement.

A random memory about this piece is that the burgundy book actually started out golden rod yellow I think.   I remember that I thought the color looked awful next to everything else and I also wanted to try my hand at mixing colors.  I didn't realize at the time that if you don't mix pure colors, they come out looking like 💩.  Thankfully, I kept adding red or magenta to my paint palette and finally came up with the color you see in my painting. That's the reason why that book is less transparent than the other books in the painting. 

It's always been a lesson that art doesn't always come out the way you imagined at the beginning, but that you shouldn't give up and somehow something beautiful can appear in the end.